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压力的两种来源,你是哪一种?

2018-05-22    来源:壹心理杂志    编辑:Thomas Huebl    浏览次数:91

 当感到压力时,你会选择隐忍还是爆发?

 

也许,你还有另一种选择——去觉察和判断压力的来源,是过去创伤被激发,还是进化发展的需要。随后顺着觉察的“沟渠”,把压力疏导出来。


(视频链接:https://v.qq.com/iframe/preview.html?vid=p0563sotptg&width=500

 

Many many people wake up in the morning and go to bed, with text messages, with whatsapp messages, with emails. So we are constantly connected in the middle of night, the phone is blipping. So it might reduce our sleeping time.

 

许多人入睡前和醒来后做的事,就是发信息、刷朋友圈或是收发邮件。即使在深夜,大家也在持续地与外界连接。枕边的手机信号灯还在闪烁着接收信息。这很可能会减少大家的睡眠时间。


We might have families, we might have commitment in culture. We might want to do spiritual practice, we might also love to enjoy our life. So there are many things that seems to be more and more squeeze into our 24-hour  schedule.

 

同时大家还有家人,大家学问中还有一些义务与承诺,大家可能还想要做精神练习或是好好享受生命。你会发现,大家把越来越多的事情塞挤进每天仅有的24小时中。


 

And so I believe that there is literally an amazing change going on in our world, that we are being born into a new age. A new age that is also defined by new technology, but also by the fact that our world came together on our mobile phones, so that we are exposed to a lot of information instantly often around the world. So that we are been born into a global citizenship.

 

我相信大家的世界发生着不可思议的变化。大家进入了一个新的时代,这个新时代被新的科技定义着。世界通过手机呈现在大家面前,大家持续地暴露在全球巨大的信息量下。大家进入了一个世界公民的时代。


Even though recently more and more nationalistic tendencies try to rebalance a movement that actually we cannot stop. 

 

尽管近来民族主义趋势日益抬头,尝试对冲这全球化的趋势,然而这趋势却是无法避免的。


We are also in a world that also become more and more mentalized. Sometimes disconnected with more and more from our emotions, our physical experience, and we also live in a world where a lot of trauma is being inflicted every day.

 

同时,大家也处在一个越来越强调脑部智力的世界,越来越频繁地与大家的情绪、身体失联。大家也生活在一个每天都有创伤被激发的世界。


 

So one could say, wow, we are literally living in a very complex world, and there are obvious reasons to be stressed. We can be stressed if we lose our job, we can be stressed if something happen to our relationship, or we might not find a relationship. We might be stressed about the overall course of the world. 

 

因此有的人可能会说,“哇!大家处在一个如此复杂的世界里,毫无疑问会感受到巨大的压力,大家会担心失去工作,大家会担心关系出现意外,大家会担心找不到另一半,全世界的进程也会让大家倍感压力。


But actually, I think at the end, it boils down to two types, two aspects. It boils down to stress that I would love to call shadow of integration stress, and then there is another kind of stress that is evolutionary stress or developmental stress. 

 

其实归根结底,这些压力最后可分为两种类型。其中一种类型,我称之为“阴影整合压力”;另一种类型,是“进化发展压力”。


01

阴影整合压力

 

Integration of shadow stress means it is a signpost to my past. For example, I go to a job interview, and I am stressed before. Maybe I’m excited, maybe I’m afraid, maybe I have a strong demand in myself that I need to be in a certain way. 

 

“阴影整合压力”是关于我过去的指示牌。例如,我在参加一个工作面试前会很有压力。这可能是因为我很兴奋、或是很恐惧,或是我内在强烈地想要以某种方式来自我呈现。


 

But whatever it is, there is an underlying dimension, of emotional feeling of awareness, that most probably is not fully included. There might be many other exams, or situations that a part of my moment that have nothing to do with this moment.

 

但不论是什么原因,下面都有一个更深的维度,一个情绪感知与自我觉察的维度,没有被我归因到压力的表症中。可能面试的同时我还有很多其它考试,或是有很多其实与面试毫不相关的情境(让我感到压力)。


So actually, my past is like a movie advertisement, or movie commercials that are being projected on top of the main movie. And of course in a stronger version, all the traumatizing aspects in my past will definitely speak a lot of voice in the stressful moments of today, so that means that the challenging or difficult moments of my life are literally signpost to growth.

 

事实上,我过去的经历就像是广告或是弹幕,投影在了当下真实发生的剧情之上。当然还有更强烈的可能,我所有过往的创伤会在有压力的时刻大声叫嚷、干扰当下。这其实意味着,我生命中那些充满挑战与困难的压力时刻,其实是成长的路标。


 

And I think every serious practitioner of inner work of inner development that everybody who wants to manifest more of his or her potential in the world, needs certain kinds of practice that we can no longer live difficult moments in our life.

 

我相信每一个认真关注践行内在发展、希翼将自己的潜能更多地显化在世间的人,都需要一些练习,让自己不沦陷于生命中的困难时刻。


I think we need deeper practice and more serious look at our life to find out what is actually the composition, what is the orchestra playing in the difficult moment.  

 

我认为大家需要更深刻的练习,并且更严肃地看向大家的生命。去找出身处困难时刻时,到底是什么在影响着大家。


 

02

进化发展压力

 

And then there is other part that relates more to what I said before, what I would call, evolutionary stress. That’s when somebody that wants to run 100 meters in 0.1 second faster, or 0.2 seconds faster, which means these qualities in our life that needs to expand and grow with the change of the world. 

 

同时,还有另外一种类型的压力,我称之为“进化发展压力”。 就像是一个百米运动员想要把成绩提高0.1或0.2秒那样,这种压力的产生是因为随着世界的变化,生命中的一些素质需要拓展、成长。


 

And I believe we are growing into a time, that already started, which is finding out that lots of structures in our culture are going to change, and that many people will be called to change. So there is one way, where I resist the change, and I resist that development. 

 

我相信大家还生活在这样的一个时代,学问中的结构范式开始变化,很多人也被召唤着随之改变。我要么就抗拒这些变化,但也因此拒绝了成长。


And there is another way, where I align with the development in a grounded way, and therefore, the second part of the big chunk which we might call stress, is actually evolution knocking at our door, and saying it’s time to move, and it’s time to move, sometimes it’s time to move our relationship, sometimes it’s to move at work, sometime it’s time to move in a way that we relate to our culture.

 

不过,我还有另一个选择,就是用一种落地的方式与发展同步。在这种情况下,我所谓的难以下咽的“压力”, 其实是“进化”在敲门,它在门外说“是时候改变了”。 这种改变,有时是关系需要改变,有时是工作方式需要改变,有时是大家与学问连接的方式需要改变。


 

But there is often in us, a deeper knowing when it’s time to move. And often change scares us. Change is something that sounds simple when it is a predictable change. But it is not easy very often when it is unpredictable change. It’s easy when it is changing in the direction that I like. But sometimes it’s harder when life is change in a way that I don’t like so much. 

 

其实大家内在更深的层面早已知道“是时候改变了”, 只不过大家惧怕这种改变。当变化在预料之中时,大家很容易接纳它;但在预料之外时,大家就很抗拒变化。当变化如我所愿时,我就很容易接纳它;当事与愿违时,我就很抗拒变化。


So when evolution pushes, I might experience this as stress, when life gets faster, I might experience this as stress. If structure in a culture runs change, I might experience this as stress. And I might also see another person as stress, so then we reconfirm with each other the stress that life seems to make.

 

因此,当进化推着大家改变时,我可能感觉这是压力;当生命节奏变快时,我可能感觉这是压力;当身处的学问结构发生了改变,我可能感觉这是压力;我也有可能把别人当做压力,当大家彼此强化这种想法时,就感觉生命给大家制造了压力。


But if I’m willing to move, if I am willing to take on the challenge to move, and I’m willing to expand my life, so then what I call stress in the first place, is actually invitation to growth, to become a new future. 

 

但是一旦我愿意去改变、一旦我愿意接受挑战去改变,愿意去拓宽我的生命,那么最初我称之为“压力”的东西,会摇身一变成为成长的邀请,最终变成崭新的未来。


 
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